I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
smell my finger.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
