People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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