I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
