i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
