anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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