I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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