I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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