The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
