Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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