sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
wow bdsm is so cute
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