jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
