I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
