Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's never too late to be topless.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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