since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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