how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
