If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
where am i from again
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
