getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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