No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
