I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize