I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
