we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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