I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
