i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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