i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
