You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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