Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You work out of a Hotel?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
