Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
