Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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