This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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