With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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