yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
