So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
