Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
