What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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