thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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