he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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