very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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