I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
