I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
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