Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My balls are so social today.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
