i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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