do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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