My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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