rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
