She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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