A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
