he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
