She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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