I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
