if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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