Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just want nice things and good sex
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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