its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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