please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
