Don't you send me to vm
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
