Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
