I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
