Can i not drive my cunt home
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
