Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
