help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
